I don’t usually write marriage related material. Having been married just under a year myself, I am no expert and I don’t pretend to be. But, when God lays something so heavy on my heart, I feel I must share it with you. I want to talk about practicing hospitality in our marriage.
Hospitality isn’t just for guests or neighbors. Your spouse desperately needs your hospitality. Unfortunately, so many marriages today are inhospitable. Inhospitable is defined as being harsh and difficult to live in. Studies are showing that nearly 50% of marriages are ending in divorce. I have seen many end myself, especially over the past few years. Couple are splitting, and then before papers are even signed, they’re with someone else. It’s a fast run to the next person that can make them happy. Unfortunately, that’s the key to this broken covenant. Everyone is out to be made happy, to feel satisfied, or to get something out of the relationship. If you go into a relationship with high expectations for what your spouse will do for you, it’s going to fail. If you think your spouse is there to make you happy and feel fulfilled, then it will fail. If you think that everything will be easy and all about you, then your marriage will fail. Romance novels, television shows, and Instagram marriages today give us unrealistic and false views on how a marriage works. When our spouse fails to meet our expectations, we respond with anger, hostility, hurtful words, and withdrawal. This creates an inhospitable environment for our relationship and eventually, it will fall apart.
Ways couples create an inhospitable marriage:
1.) They discuss their spouse’s flaws with others.
2.) They wake up every day asking what their spouse will do for them.
3.) They don’t have open honest discussions.
4.) They constantly complain.
5.) They don’t place a value on a relationship with God.
6.) They deny one another grace to fail.
Sometimes, these things happen without us even realizing. We get so busy and caught up with every day life that we lose sight of the importance of how we treat our spouse and marriage. We don’t intend to complain or be selfish, it just happens. Friends, we have to be intentional about our marriage. We can’t afford not to. We have to wake up every day and ask ourselves “am I being hospitable in my marriage?”
Ways to create a hospitable marriage:
1.) Do not talk bad about your husband. To anyone. Ever.
2.) Every morning ask yourself “What can I do to be a blessing to my spouse today?”
3.) Talk about the hard things. Have those difficult open and honest conversations.
4.) Every day, write down 3 things to be thankful for regarding your spouse/marriage.
5.) Spend time with God every day. As you draw closer to Him, you will naturally draw closer to your spouse.
6.) Learn to accept , or give, an apology when failure occurs.
When you become intentional about practicing hospitality with your spouse, you will notice how much closer you draw to one another.
Romans 12:10 reminds us “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”